The Slightly Sinister Sunday.

On Sunday, I was ready to do some serious blogging. I was going to watch the Sunday news shows and report them back to you. It would be with a twinkle in my eye that I reported Cokie Roberts had audibly called Sam Donaldson a ‘fancy boy’ on national TV. I would comment wittily on Tom Brokaw, elder statesman of the news business, slamming his fist into the table so hard that Senate majority leader Harry Reid shrieked like a little girl. Bill Kristol, I would have gasped, just ate a live trout on Fox News Sunday – imagine my glee.

But of course, this didn’t happen.

It started out all right, the orchestral drum beats of Meet the Press soon gave way to the liquid voice of Tom Brokaw who explained that this week’s exclusive guest was former Vice President Al Gore who had just announced a new initiative to get me to leave the room and make a fresh pot of coffee. I also played with the cat for a few minutes. Thanks Al.

I managed to struggle through about 6 minutes of this. At first, I thought that my TV was broken, but it turns out that Al was just wearing a black suit. What I gathered is that, even though some rich oil dude came up with a much better plan, Gore wants all electricity in the United States to be produced by renewable resources in the next ten years. He then would apparently become overlord of the post apocalyptic terror world that would ensue after the economy collapsed. He would, in a nod to Mad Max and his own spiraling weight, claim the title of ‘The Lord Humungus’.

T. Boone Pickens (who has a great blues name), is also willing to throw 1 billion dollars of his own money into his plan to build a wind corridor from Texas to North Dakota. Al Gore, conversely, has made a hard pledge to open-mouth kiss Tipper at any public event for a dollar.

The third segment of Meet the Press was devoted to my neighbors practicing karate in the park across the street.

I miss Russert.

At several points, I had to switch positions of the couch in order to keep my tongue from sliding back into my throat and choking me - it was very upset with my brain. I unintentionally looked out of the living room window and into the park across the street. Three men - adults - were engaged in some kind of mixed martial arts exercise for the neurologically impaired. One guy, presumably the sensei or fleur-de-sel or whatever, was even wearing his karate jacket.

He would, ever so slowly, hoist one of his two ‘students’ up for a hip-toss. Stopping he would explain something about shooting energy like the guys on Dragon Ball Z or how to be super cool like Chow Yun-Fat. All of this happened with 170 pounds of stupid poised at the perfect oaf-throwing fulcrum. It was no surprise when both student and teacher collapsed into a heap of dust and comic book exclamation marks.

However, this was still considerably better than Al Gore.

This Week wasn’t even on ABC because they were showing golf. I tried to watch Reliable Sources on CNN, but suddenly felt compelled to go and shave. Eventually Fox News Sunday came on, and I just couldn’t do it. It seemed like the editorial choices were between Barack Obama worsening terrorism by traveling to the Middle East or actually coming back as a terrorist himself.

It was more than I could take. Sadly, when I went back to the window, the Karate Boys had left.

This Sunday was not very Sinister. For shame, everyone who works in the media or broadcasts golf, for shame.

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Science Needs Your Help!!

I claim to be ‘wicked smart’, but I have also claimed to have been in prison and be the resident of a peat bog. Some or all of these claims may be true, but now it’s time to put one of them to the test.

I need your questions to work my brain. In the next week, I’d like everyone to ask a science question in the comments to this blog. The lovely Mrs. Sinister and I will pick as many of these as I think that I can answer in one post. I may even ask you to vote on the questions. Or I may not, or I may forget.

It’s not hard – here’s an example I just made up:

Question: I know that planets have elliptical rather than circular orbits, what causes this?

Answer: Roy Orbison.

Obviously, this is not a serious answer since Roy Orbison is actually a mathematical constant.

So get those questions in; science waits for no one.

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